


The Beast from the East

by D_f_m22



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 18:40:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13840686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/D_f_m22/pseuds/D_f_m22
Summary: Winter 2018 (well technically Spring 2018), the UK is brought to a stand still by snow.With lectures cancelled, the Doctor looks forward to a snow day with Missy in the Vault. Missy meanwhile, misunderstands the weather warnings- much to everyone's amusement.





	The Beast from the East

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if anyone in the UK/Europe is aware, but it's a bit bloody cold! ;)
> 
> Anyway, what else is there to do when you're snowed in but write some Vault fics?
> 
> This is just a small silly piece inspired by the current weather, feedback is appreciated.

Bill entered the Doctor’s office with an exhausted sigh.

 

Taking off her hat and gloves and scarf and the first two layers of outdoor clothing, she looked over at the cyborg and Time Lord that were sat huddled by the open fire place reading over a list. Outside, icicles hung from the window pane and the howling wind caused dust clouds of snow to intermingle the fresh flakes falling from the dusk sky.

 

**_It was the nearly March!_ **

 

Bill wasn’t entirely convinced she wasn’t frozen in some sci-fi winter time warp. Looking back at her friends, she found them deep in conversation. It was some weird domestic-like squabble, that she was prone to finding them in. Nardole shook his head every few seconds, looking like an angry Churchill-esque nodding dog as he scanned the list the Doctor was holding and crossed several items off with a bright red pen.

 

“Absolutely not,” the cyborg declared as he jabbed the pen into the middle of the paper. “Fire? Are you quite mad?”

 

“It’s not fire,” the Time Lord reasoned. “Not really. It’s just candles.”

 

“Yes- the weird space candles that are the size of a small human. Do you think I was born yesterday?”

 

“You weren’t **_born_** , at all. I helped to re-programme you and I can certainly de-programme you if you don’t drop the lip.”

 

“Oh, now you’re really sounding like our friend downstairs…”

 

“Missy!” The Doctor reminded in exasperation. “Her name is Missy.”

 

“Yes, Missy, everyone’s favourite Time Travelling psychopath that you want to give fire to!”

 

“I do not want to give her fire. Anyway, if she really wanted a fire I’m sure she’d be resourceful enough to burn one herself…” The Time Lord trailed off when he watched Nardole’s face drop in horror. That had been the wrong thing to say to the anxious cyborg. “…Forget that,” the Doctor said as he waved his hands dismissively. “I’m sure she wouldn’t be able to start a fire…not a very big one at least. Wait, no, that’s not helping is it?”

 

“No, sir” Nardole said pointedly. “ _It is not_.”

 

“Look, my point is, I am ninety percent certain she doesn’t have any intentions of starting a fire.”

 

The Time Lord paused here, even after centuries of friendship and decades living with their current set up, he was never overly certain what the Time Lady might be intending to do at any given moment. Still, Nardole didn’t need to know that.

 

“But, with all this bad weather, she might start to feel cold and her mind might wander to fire. It’s kind of primal, you can’t blame her for acting on a primal instinct. Plus, in Gallifrey, we used those big candles for heat during the coldest winter months.”

 

Bill- who had been watching the interaction silently for the better part of five minutes- scoffed. Both Time Lord and cyborg turned to face her, startled by the audience they had been unaware of.

 

“I’m sorry,” the human said with a smirk as she walked towards them and plonked herself down on the sofa. “But that sounds made up. **_Primal_**? Missy’s always going on about being above primal instincts and do you seriously expect me to believe that your species doesn’t have high-tech heating system? Nah, you’re telling porkies. I think you just have a nostalgic notion of passing a snow storm with your bezzie mate. Candles, blanket forts and hot chocolate!”

 

The human smiled as she teased her friend- but her grin grew when she saw the Doctor blush. The 2,000+ year old alien was blushing!

 

“Oh Doctor!” Bill laughed. “I was only teasing but, oh mate! That’s so sweet. You want to have a snow day with Missy!”

 

The Doctor looked down, cheeks reddening further. “I was planning on spending the storm with her, yes. But it’s not like lectures are on- they’ve all been cancelled and…and Missy’s not used to Earth’s seasons, it could be distressing for her.”

 

“She’s in a sealed Vault with no awareness of the outside world,” Nardole said bluntly. “It could be raining literal cats and dogs and she wouldn’t know about it.”

 

“Okay,” the Doctor sighed in defeat. “Yes, you’re right- I wanted a snow day with her. We had quite a few back in the winter of 1962-63. It was fun, but Missy was still…She was still trying to settle into life in the Vault and wasn’t well—”

 

“Is that your way of saying ‘ _we had to keep her sedated and restrained so she didn’t try to disassemble Nardole for the third time in one week again_?’ Those first decades were very stressful for me,” Nardole said with a sniff. “Some would say traumatic, even.”

 

The Doctor rolled his eyes and stood up, placing supplies in a cardboard box.

 

“They were distressing for everyone involved- you, me and Missy. Anyway, I just hoped that this time around I could have a snow day with Missy and she would remember. We used to bunk up together as kids when there was a snow storms back home. We used to have these massive storms during the long winter seasons every five years. Kos hated the cold, he used to grumble about it all night long until I agreed to get into bed with him and we’d try to scare each other with the best legends we’d heard.”

 

“N’aw,” Bill cooed at the image of the Doctor and Missy as children, snuggled up together and weathering the storm. “You are an old soft touch, aren’t you?”

 

“ ** _And there we have it_** ,” Nardole sang triumphantly. He sounded like a detective about to reveal the answer to the murder mystery. “The real reason I have to be bad cop to little miss bananas downstairs.”

 

The Doctor scowled, but continued to box up supplies.

 

“Don’t ruin the moment, you” Bill tutted. “Now, instead of a tutorial, can I help take down the treats?”

 

XXXXXXXX

 

Missy sensed them approaching the Vault before she heard them. It was the whole team today- the calming and consistent presence of the Doctor intermingled with the lively human and anxious cyborg’s presence.

 

Guests- **_how delightful!_**

 

That would mean she’d have to be on her best behaviour- which, in fairness, she had been.

 

Well, for the most part at least- the radio and transponder she’d made were against Vault rules, but it had been for the greater good. The Doctor would be so pleased that she’d been listening in on the invasion plans of a creature from the Eastern hemisphere that was set on paralysing most of Europe with some form of Meteorological Warfare. She’d seen Meteorological tactics deployed before- she’d even dabbled in it herself, though she’d never liked the cold and the alternative use of extreme heat had made her hair frizz terribly; but never had the Time Lady seen it used by a species as primitive as humans.

 

That had made Missy hypothesise that the creature was not native to Earth and probably had its sights set on invasion and domination.

 

The Doctor **_loved_** saving the Earthlings from that kind of creature and Missy had been the one to identify the threat!

 

He would be so proud of her, but she’d have to break it to him carefully, he’d be ever so angry about the radio and transponder and would jump to all sorts of conclusions before she’d have a chance to explain herself. It would be best if she hid her creations, just until the Doctor wanted to hear how clever she’d been. In a rushed attempt to hide the radio and transponder she’d made from an old coat hanger and the back of the Vault’s ‘broken’ microwave, she lifted the piano lid and shoved the forbidden items away.

 

Fixing her hair, she sat and crossed her legs on the piano stool and awaited her guests. She didn’t have to wait long.

 

“Hello Missy,” the Doctor greeted over the intercom. “Is it okay if we come in?”

 

“I should think so, dear” Missy crooned as she examined a chipped nail. “I’ve been _ever so busy_ , being _ever so_ _clever_. You and the children should come in and listen to mummy’s stories.”

 

The Doctor beamed over his shoulder at the human and cyborg.

 

“She’s in a good mood!” He whispered before tapping in the code and watching the doors creak open.

 

XXXXXXXX

 

The Doctor walked in and was followed by Nardole and Bill, each carrying a box with snacks, hot water bottle and small comforts to wait out the bad weather. Missy tilted her head and watched, intrigued. She noted the specks of snow that lined her visitors’ clothing. The start of the invasion must have started.

 

“Oooh,” Missy drawled walking to the edge of the containment field and standing on tip toes to peer into the boxes. “It’s like sixty-minute make over! Are you going to whisk me away for treats and surprises while you pimp my Vault?”

 

“Not quite, Missy” the Doctor said. “You can come out of the containment field, as long as you behave.”

 

“I know,” Missy hummed and waved her leg in and out. “In, out…In, out…Shake it all about. You never properly activate it anymore. Haven’t for years!” She declared with a wink in Nardole and Bill’s direction.

 

Nardole scoffed and stopped in his tracks.

 

“What?” The cyborg asked. “Doctor, is she serious?”

 

The Time Lord swallowed and looked down guiltily.

 

“Of course not,” he said. “She’s winding you up.”

 

Missy smirked and made a show of nodding and winking theatrically.

 

“Of course I am winding you up.”

 

Bill laughed at the Time Lady, pulling out her usual seat in the kitchen and sitting down.

 

“Right, if you’ve quite finished with your theatrics, are you going to come down and join us?”

 

Missy went to nod but caught sight of the notes she’d made on the imminent invasion. She really did get distracted far too easily these days. 

 

“I need to talk to you, Doctor” she declared soberly. “It’s quite serious and I’ve been working very hard on being good and I need you to listen to me carefully.”

 

The Doctor looked up at Missy, confused by her sudden seriousness. He looked over at Nardole and Bill who had exchanged worried glances.

 

“Missy,” the Time Lord said. “What is it?”

 

Missy looked at the piano, where her radio and transponder where hidden. The Doctor might be angry with her for a little while about the radio, but he would be so proud of her for intercepting this meteorological attack. Being good wasn’t black and white.

 

She bit down on her lip briefly in thought.

 

“Missy,” the Doctor prompted. “You know you can tell me anything.”

 

“I made a radio set and a transponder but before you get all cross-pants with me for breaking the rules, I overhead talks of an imminent invasion. An alien creature it would appear is intent on attacking Earth and enslaving humans. I...I remembered my war training in signals and I’ve managed to write down everything I could and I even overheard the code name. It looks like the invasion has already started.”

 

“Did you say you’d made a radio set?” Nardole squeaked. “Is that what happened to the back of the microwave? That was **_my_** microwave!”

 

“ _Really_?” Bill questioned, rising to her feet. “That’s what you’re taking from that? Doctor- we need to do something!”

 

“Shh!” The Doctor said to his two friends. “Missy, did you recognise the species that were planning on invading?”

 

The Time Lord was pacing by this stage, mind working to formulate a plan.

 

“No,” Missy said, shaking her head. “But I gather they’re advancing from the East. I’m not sure whether that’s approaching the planet from the East or whether it meant they had infiltrated an area in eastern Europe. Russia has always been a haven for harbouring inter-galactic criminals, I should know…”

 

Missy was buzzing, feeling adrenaline rise at the idea of helping the Doctor (and maybe being able to use brute force.)

 

As the Doctor listened to her account, his shoulders relaxed, and he tried to keep a straight face as he looked back at Missy. Bill and Nardole also seemed less tense, the former covering her mouth to hide a smirk. The Time Lady looked at them in confusion.

 

This was serious business- why did they look like they were about to burst into fits of giggles?

 

“What…” The Doctor started, breaking to cough and hide a giggle. “What was the code name of the invasion Missy?”

 

_Finally! They were asking the right questions._

 

“The Beast from the East,” Missy said gravely. “They’re deploying climatological tactics- heavy snow, fast winds and below zero temperatures to cripple cities across Western Europe. I suspect they’ll move across the Atlantic next before hitting the southern hemisphere. It’s going to be catastrophic.”

 

There were a few seconds of silence in the Vault, everyone trying their hardest not to laugh at the Time Lady. Nardole cracked first, snorting and descending into belly laughs. It was enough to send Bill and the Doctor into fits of giggles. Missy’s brow furrowed, and she reddened at their laughter.

 

“What…” she began. “What are you laughing at? This is serious!”

 

The Doctor looked up, stifling further laughter as he remembered how scared she was at him laughing at her. She always had been- fearing being mocked by her best friend more than the relentless bullying of their peers at the Academy.

 

“We’re not laughing at you Missy.” They were, but sometimes it was kinder to lie. “I think you may have gotten the wrong end of the stick…”

 

“You mean there’s no invasion?”

 

Bill shook her head.

 

“The Beast from the East is a snowstorm. You’re radio probably picked up the news and weather reports.”

 

Nardole nodded and added, “That’ll teach you for breaking the rules!”

 

Missy looked at her feet, cheeks turning a furious shade of red.

 

“I thought I was being good,” she sighed. “The humans are being ridiculous if they’re kicking up a fuss like that about a storm.”

 

The Time Lady turned away and sat at her piano, hitting a few keys in frustration at her own stupidity. The notes sounded out of tune- no doubt effected by the radio current lodged in it.

 

The Doctor looked at Bill and Nardole, nodding his head towards the door.

 

“Would you give us a minute?” He mouthed. “Come back in ten minutes for some hot chocolate and a movie marathon.”

 

The pair nodded and took their leave. 

 

XXXXXXXX

 

“I’m so stupid!” Missy exclaimed once she knew they were alone.

 

“I never thought I’d hear that,” the Doctor quipped. “But you’re not stupid. Out of context, it must have sounded quite scary.”

 

“I wasn’t _scared_ ,” Missy huffed. “I wanted you to be proud of me- I wanted to show you I’d done a good thing!”

 

The Doctor smiled and sat down next to Missy.

 

“Everyday that you make progress in here, you’re making me prouder than you can ever know.”

 

Missy pulled a face and pretended to throw up.

 

“Sentimental fool.”

 

“Maybe,” the Doctor hummed. “I’m about to get even more sentimental.”

 

Missy turned and quirked an eyebrow.

 

“You are?”

 

“Remember the snow days at the Academy in the long winters?”

 

“Yes,” Missy said with a shudder. “They were vulgar. Gallifreyans are not made for winters like that.”

 

“Well, it wasn’t all bad” the Doctor reasoned. “We got to spend time together.”

 

Missy’s lips twitched upwards and the Doctor continued.

 

“Now we don’t have to fight off an imminent invasion of earth, we have time to have a new type of snow day.”

 

“Well,” Missy drawled. “I suppose hot chocolate and blanket forts are a better way to defeat the Beast from the East.”

 

“I’m glad we’re in agreement,” the Doctor beamed. “Now the important question is marshmallows or chocolate sprinkles?”

 

“Both,” Missy said simply. “Always both.”


End file.
